I've been out of sorts for the past few weeks - REALLY out of sorts. My mind is a jungle of thoughts and questions, while my heart just hurts. Maybe by writing it all down, I can make some sense out of it all, gain some perspective, or just clear my head.
The opening line of the sermon at Church this morning summed it up so well ..... We live in a broken world, but there are times when the world just seems more broken !!!
Sitting reading through the news websites a couple of weeks ago, I had to stop .... I felt I'd reached a point where I couldn't read anymore. What I was reading was affecting me far more than was normal (and I know that I'm not alone in this. My best friend and I were talking about this subject, just the other day) ..... death, destruction, war, hatred, poverty, prejudice, and so the list goes on. I can't remember when last I heard any good or happy news, and I mean that in all honesty. Nothing good ever happens anymore. I've cried torrents of tears over the state of the world, and life in general, over the past few weeks.
My faith is fragile too - I struggle to reconcile a loving God, with everything going on around me, but in my heart of hearts I know He is good, and has this mess.
I've spent hours wondering how best to answer the questions (and there have been A LOT of them) my kids ask about the sorry state of the world - I want to answer them honestly, but at the same time, I want to protect them, so they don't become discouraged. I guess the question is, "How do you explain the injustices of life to kids, when as adults we don't understand them?"
The only thing I think I can do right now, is to give my all to those closest to me .... love them, protect them, and pray that brighter days are ahead for this world.
I've got some deadlines to meet this week ...... there'll be plenty of time spent in my "office" this week. I'll be sharing the results with you soon.